He would come up to me after his HA meetings on Monday's to shake my hand and give me a hug. He was a joy to talk to and seemed well on his way to beating addiction. And then he was gone to an overdose.
That was Alfredo, and then there was Warren. We had watched the Dawgs together win a National Championship, he was dressed in the jersey of his favorite player and we laughed, cheered and shouted as they went on to victory. A week later he was gone, another overdose. He had a heart condition and was told another episode might kill him. He didn't listen. Then there was Katie, an absolute beauty who was quiet, but seemed so kind. Another overdose and she was gone. In the Big Book of AA it speaks at how addiction is cunning and baffling. These are just three examples, and so many of you who read this have had personal tragedies as well that are similar. In 2023 there were a reported 112,000 overdose deaths in the U.S. Let's put that in perspective for a moment. In the Revolutionary War about 6800 Americans died in combat, another 10,000 by disease from war related situations. In Korea 35K soldiers died, In Viet Nam 58K were killed and in Iraq 4,000 as well as 2500 in Afghanistan. In summation almost as many died by overdose in one year than in 5 Wars of many years. We say war is hell, but how about this war we are fighting internally here in America now on addiction? And the drugs killing us are coming mostly in from other countries, so where is the real war? At ATB, other similar organizations as well as sober living facilities and 12 Step meeting places, we are all soldiers fighting to save lives in a war many want to keep silent about while other war protesters abound. Be aware, teach your children, love on your spouses and friends to make connections that keep us accountable to each other and most importantly connect with the Lord who can dramatically save lives. This is a war we can win, but only with His help and guidance!
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I am so thankful God chose to love all of us while we were "still sinners". Can you imagine how perfection anguished over some of the things we did? For me personally the early parts of my adult life were dominated by my selfish out of control desire to do more and more wrong.
Now that I am on the other side of it, that understanding of just how lost a person can be has helped me to love others so much better, including myself. But the challenge always remains to love those unlovable that only a God with unconditional love can understand. We try, but impatience can get in our way. But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you , what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. Luke 6:32-36 It's tough to love those who hurt you, take advantage of you, who disrespect you, who seemingly disregard any level of manners or even our own children who turn their back on us. It is, but if we read the New Testament we see all these examples and how love may not always change them but it changes us drastically on the inside. I read something this morning that compelled me to write this blog. In Luke 16:14 it says The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. I thought that even the incredible Jesus was mocked, hated and hung on a cross, but loved anyway. How should I be? I have been in the category of a pure sinner and a saved sinner, and I still have problems loving "everybody". Only by humbling myself, looking at the example of Jesus and forgetting about the cares of my life that change my moods can I truly love the unlovable. Not an easy thing to do, but one he challenges us to master. I saw the sign posted at a Burger King on a Facebook page and just knew it would end up being the topic of one of our groups. Sure enough it happened twice this week. The actual wording of the sign:
Why eat with a clown when you can dine with a king? My disclaimer is that I actually still eat at both although my health says I need to stay away. The message in the topic is that for too many years those of us in an addictive lifestyle need to stay away from the clowns that are dragging us down to become a clown and move toward a relationship with God that allows us to dine with a king. In that topic I talk about how my younger days led me to think I was not enough, was never gonna be enough and always wanted more. More to achieve, more to make me feel like more.......you can fill in the blanks here of all the dysfunctional things I did to get there. Then I found more actually provides less. This was the root of my addiction which all of us need to find if we are to stay clean, joyous and free. There was so much more than a blog can contain but I used the Parable of the Prodigal Son as an example of two sons who felt like they did not get enough from their father. Both wanted more though one toughed it out until he had to ventilate. (Look at Luke 15:29). In the fathers reaction to his wayward son coming home and to his other son's complaint there seemed to be a complete family reconciliation in a representation of how much God loves us despite our past behavior and many flaws. Truth is only God alone is enough to satisfy our deepest needs that may not always match up with our greatest wants. As a reminder check out the Rolling Stones song, "You can't always get what you want but if you try, sometimes you get what you need." So, the thought that we need to eat with clowns (or pigs as the prodigal son did) to get what we want (when we realize that more = less), is completely cunning and baffling. Read Revelations 3:19-20: Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." That's what I call dining with a King! In 2023 we applied for a grant to Waffle House and within a month or so their director of store operations came out to visit us. She took the tour, congratulated us on what we were doing and said after a few months the Board would meet to decide grant awards. I told her that the All Star breakfast was always my favorite.
They awarded us a $20,000 grant and since that time I have done my best to eat as many times at WH that the budget allows. There is one within walking distance of where I live and my grandson and I frequent it at least once a month. When we do I run into a server who I went to church with years ago who remembers how ATB began and she attended our Sunday School class. Yesterday we went there and to my surprise ran into a couple who had been helped by our ministry at another church about 25 years ago. They came with three of their grandchildren and I thought how great God is in restoring families that deal with addiction. The server was also there being the beautiful person she is. On our way to leave I heard a voice shout "Glenn" and it was a man in our current ministry who is a cook for WH and been facing the opposite direction while he was cooking. All of this in a Waffle House that maybe had 30 people in it. The irony of it all hit me this morning, understanding that God is always a God of confirmation. There was a couple from where I started in recovery ministry 35 years ago, a woman form a ministry we started at another church 15 years ago, and a man from ATB now. God had lined up his own All Star breakfast of folks to let me know that he had been with us from then to now and he will always be with us as we stay on the path he has laid out for us to follow. And it happened in a very small setting speaking to my heart that what we think makes a small difference is actually a very big thing because almost 20% of the people in that Waffle House were affected by our recovery ministry. (Including me, that's a preachers count). Just imagine if we could affect 20% of the ATL area? One can only dream, but I am certain the God we serve is a dream maker, and his All Star breakfast is a veritable buffet! There have been several times in my life where this title applied to what I had. I can remember the hopeless feeling crying out to God for relief. He eventually answered but not always in my timing and often sending me a message about what I needed to do to get where I needed to go to be stable.
He's like that. There are many examples in his book of this but one that stands out is that of Hagar. After a conflict with Sarai, Abram's wife who had approved of Abram fathering her child (they got impatient waiting for God's promise of their own child) she ran away. Then an angel spoke to her assuring her of her place in society and her worth. The angel told her to go back and resolve things by submitting to her mistress. Whether it be lack of drive, resources or opportunities that may not be coming our way, submission to God and his plan for our lives creates stabilization. We may learn eventually how to live on little or be blessed with much but with God in our lives we are never in a place where we have little or nothing. Remember the story of the loaves and fishes, the asking of the disciples to cast their nets out again after catching nothing overnight, or the words of Paul who said he learned how to be happy with little or being well fed. We must conquer the moment with whatever we have knowing God will deliver whatever we need. Hagar had nothing, probably felt worth nothing being a foreign maidservant, and feeling like she had been taken advantage of. Many of us have been there or are right in the middle of it. Jesus said "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world". Whether it takes 5 minutes, 5 months or 5 years to change our circumstances, belief that placed in God's hands it will change and multiply our situation to a positive result will enable us to praise our way through that storm of life. It did for me, it will happen for you if it hasn't already. How do I know? The Bible tells me so! |
Glenn YankowskiGlenn is an ex-Marine Viet Nam vet who is also a recovering alcoholic, clean and sober for 30 years. He has been involved in start up and ongoing recovery ministry at North Atlanta Church and Campus for the last two decades. He has a passion for outreach and to spread the message that the answer to lasting and fulfilling recovery from addiction is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. He and the ATB team are available to assist in your questions or needs on an individual basis and will do so maintaining complete confidentiality. You may e-mail him at sgtski@bellsouth.net. Archives
May 2024
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