The Healing

I have made myself a promise, and I will make you one as well. The next blog/Facebook post will be about a new topic but for one last time I need to write about the last 8 days. We have put Paul to rest now we must move on with life after we pass through the healing.

My son was an even better man than I thought, and I thought so highly of him. He impacted so many different kinds of people and he seemed to make everyone feel better about themselves. He will be greatly missed but his family will be well taken care of and Ryss will now be my daughter, no longer a daughter-in-law. 

Our family has extended itself out into a wide community, and it feels so awesome to be a part of it. There has been so much support and love that the healing has sped up but we will always mourn for what could have been. Paul was just getting started, enjoying so much fatherhood and the love of his partner in life. He was a mentor to his sister and a warrior in his training.

Without divulging the very personal nature of these, I shared stories with others who experienced similar tragedies, and I felt so much support from my co-workers and friends that my faith and commitment to send Paul out in style never wavered. Part of the healing is focusing on what we had in the living times rather than how we would cope without him because God has installed an automatic coping mechanism in us all.

Each day there are tears but they are becoming less, and each day I think about another wonderful part of Paul's life. He was a great son but I have 2 others and a couple of son-in-laws who also are pretty special. I will pay more attention to their lives because the wake up call you get from going through the death of a child makes you want to appreciate your loved ones even more.

To Him who gave me a rock to stand on, thank you for changing my life to allow me to have 29 years with Paul, thank you for the blessing of seeing him do so much good, and help us all to experience the healing that time will bring. 

No one knows better than you what it feels like to lose a son!