I am just thankful today to wake up with an attitude of wanting to do the right thing and not be destructive. There were many days in my addiction when my thoughts were on things that involved doing wrong and the results often kept me in a state of delirium thinking I was actually doing right for me.
The key was being so self-centered and selfish that I didn't even notice. Yet people said I was a nice guy so my state of euphoria remained and there was denial about my problems. This is what addiction does, your thinking pattern resembles a maize in that there seems no way out of the struggle until it reaches a point of pure desperation. Then, you hit rock bottom.
Thirty six years ago it hit for me, and it took a TV Evangelist to point at me through the screen and say, "I'm talking to you with the beer can in your hand" to illuminate my problem and show me a way out. He went on to say the answer was Jesus. And almost every day since that broadcast it has been clear to me that only He can keep me on The Right Side Of Wrong.
He changed my thinking pattern from destructive behavior to thoughts of doing good. The Bible shows the way, Whatever is good, whatever is pure, think of such things and real truth is that though those former bad thoughts do creep in from time to time, my life is now spent thinking mostly of those right thoughts.
The process of change is difficult and painful because it means setting aside all those things that used to make you happy to leading a life of self denial. So if my thoughts are on Jesus, the one who clearly demonstrated how to deny self, my whole attitude and outlook on life changes as it says in the promises of A.A.
I think of Him, and what I destructed, and how truly blessed I am every day now to be alive with a new freedom and a new attitude of gratitude,
What he did on that cross put me on the right side of all my wrongs!
Glenn is an ex-Marine Viet Nam vet who is also a recovering alcoholic, clean and sober for 30 years. He has been involved in start up and ongoing recovery ministry at North Atlanta Church and Campus for the last two decades. He has a passion for outreach and to spread the message that the answer to lasting and fulfilling recovery from addiction is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. He and the ATB team are available to assist in your questions or needs on an individual basis and will do so maintaining complete confidentiality. You may e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.