I remember in 1984 how it felt the day I gave my life to the lord and was baptized. The feeling of being so unworthy to be loved by God was all over me until I came up out of that water as a new creation, and then it hit me. My sins were forgiven, but I still had consequences to pay as a result of those sins.
You see, the devil doesn't waste a moment to discourage us, especially after a great spiritual moment. He truly attempts to rob us of our joy because he wants us to always feel Unworthy. But, my next thoughts in my wandering just after giving up my addiction mind were, yes, I have consequences, but now I have a counselor, a confidant, a consoler and a comforter who can get me through whatever battles were ahead.
If we look around at all the overdoses, suicides and unhappy people in this world, we see people feeling unworthy, who feel like they need pain to remind them of how bad they are. But instead, if we can bring them some hope, we can tell them how good God sees them. If we can help them to understand that He made us worthy, it takes away the burdens of bearing the weight of our own terrible sins.
In truth, after my conversion, I paid much less in consequences than I deserved because he spared me whenever it was a testimony to help my family or someone else. What it takes is the same mindset that Jesus related to the woman caught in adultery. He removed her accusers, spared her life but he wanted her to have a mindset of "go and sin no more".
In other words, if we are forgiven but we still behave the same way we used to, we are pouring unworthiness back into our mindset and the devil keeps us locked in spin cycle. And our accusers come back and that pours more unworthy feelings into a broken and confused soul. The Prodigal Son felt that, but he also knew who really loved him.
The answer: as the prodigal son said ,"I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men. So he got up and went to his father." Don't run to the dope man, don't use that knife on yourself. Run to the father who loves you and makes you worthy.
Be one of his transformed, hired men or women. Hired through the redemption of Christ, bought and paid for!
Glenn is an ex-Marine Viet Nam vet who is also a recovering alcoholic, clean and sober for 30 years. He has been involved in start up and ongoing recovery ministry at North Atlanta Church and Campus for the last two decades. He has a passion for outreach and to spread the message that the answer to lasting and fulfilling recovery from addiction is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. He and the ATB team are available to assist in your questions or needs on an individual basis and will do so maintaining complete confidentiality. You may e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.